Have you ever felt identified with this image? This reading ban is sending me there. I am realising how full my head is. Some use-ful(l) things and also loads of clutter. They all live together in their own chaotic way. And that mad espectacle is happening inside me. Now I cannot silence it with other stories, with other words. I cannot quiet my mind. Now I feel this urge to clean (inside and outside), to get rid of everything and start fresh new, but the urge fights with the endless 'to do' list that keeps popping up in front of me like an invisible computer screen. With my duties at the office. With what other people expect from me. The prioritising device is failing. What do I do first? I haven't finished one thing and I'm already thinking 'what's next' with the permanent feeling that I am wasting my time. All this raises the question of what reading means to me. I have always seen reading as my nurturing space, as pleasure, information, mental travelling and imagination, connexion with other worlds (known and unknown), and among all, insipiration. I see now that reading is also my refuge and without it I am alone in the open chaotic universe of my own thoughts. I'm still keeping positive though. I am sure something good will come out from this 'fasting'. Maybe I am making space for the things that really matter. And reading really matters, don't get me wrong, but I am willing to find out something new, a new and meaningful space for it. For now, I'm going to start my office de-cluttering process. Wish me luck on that!
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