La felicidad/ Happiness

Why do we know and still forget it?

Reading ban. Part 3: This is torture (but I can see hope)

I've been in Manchester today. I love going back there. It feels so home I can't even believe that nearly nine years ago the place was to me nothing worse than an unkown monster ready to eat me alive.
The difference? History. My history. Anyway, as you can imagine I nearly forget my reading ban... Imagine the situation! 2 hour train journey and my laptop with me... But NO. I prepared myself for what I was going to do at Manchester. I took some notes. I wrote my morning pages... Success.

The journey back was slightly harder and the reason is something happened in between. I went to an interview for a Yoga Training course. How did I get there? Well, I don't know. It just made sense suddenly. Life one day fell like a puzzle where the pieces were easily following into place. I met the lovely Annie Jones and I can say I have already learnt things in our conversation. I had a fantastic time and meeting Annie was trully inspiring. This is their webside, if you want to check it out: http://www.druworldwide.com/

The pictures I've included in this post belong to Dru Yoga too.

Ok, so, on my way back I was sitting in the train all busy deep in thought trying to forget I had a brand new Yoga book in my handbag. Ahhhhhhhh! Ok, I'll just look at the cover, I said to myself. I did. Only the 'Contents page'. And I opened to 'just look at the first page'. And... back to my handbag. Yes. I resisted. Close though. Everyone around me, EVERYONE was reading. Reading papers, magazines, notes, books. EVERYONE. So unfair. Why can't I? What am I taking out of all this in such a situation? Locked in a train! Nothing else to do! Well, while lost in my own angry thougths I found an answer: If I read (same as if I kept angry) I would miss out on the gorgeous green landscape of the Peack District, the mountains changing colour in the evening hours, the rain nurturing the earth, the smell of it coming in from the open window. I would stop being present in that right unique moment. A moment that, like all moments in our life, will never come back.

Reading ban part 2. Chaos.

Have you ever felt identified with this image? This reading ban is sending me there. I am realising how full my head is. Some use-ful(l) things and also loads of clutter. They all live together in their own chaotic way. And that mad espectacle is happening inside me. Now I cannot silence it with other stories, with other words. I cannot quiet my mind. Now I feel this urge to clean (inside and outside), to get rid of everything and start fresh new, but the urge fights with the endless 'to do' list that keeps popping up in front of me like an invisible computer screen. With my duties at the office. With what other people expect from me. The prioritising device is failing. What do I do first? I haven't finished one thing and I'm already thinking 'what's next' with the permanent feeling that I am wasting my time. All this raises the question of what reading means to me. I have always seen reading as my nurturing space, as pleasure, information, mental travelling and imagination, connexion with other worlds (known and unknown), and among all, insipiration. I see now that reading is also my refuge and without it I am alone in the open chaotic universe of my own thoughts. I'm still keeping positive though. I am sure something good will come out from this 'fasting'. Maybe I am making space for the things that really matter. And reading really matters, don't get me wrong, but I am willing to find out something new, a new and meaningful space for it. For now, I'm going to start my office de-cluttering process. Wish me luck on that!

Reading ban part 1

As some of you might know I am reading (and completing) Julia Cameron's The Artist Way. It's an interesting book that puts you through a creative self-discovery journey. So far so good. However, in Chapter 4, the book bans you from reading for a week. And I got there. Chapter 4. This is just my second day without reading and I am finding it extreeeemely difficult. How can I live without reading? Where do I find my inspiration? I've realised how much time I spend every day just reading. And I'm not talking only about reading for pleasure. Reading to work, reading to be informed, reading to communicate, reading the food labels, reading as a reward, reading to kill time, reading to stop myself from doing something else I should... That's the point of the reading ban, probably. Or at least one of them. Facing reality. Getting rid of distractions, just for a week. Take some perspective. After writing my pages this morning, after my yoga session I thought 'Hey, before I get down to my writing I'll check if I have comments on my blog', 'I'll see if there is a new entry on SWIM blog', 'Oh, I'll read this and this blog'. 'That seems interesting, I'll follow the link and read about it...' Nooooooo! I'm not allowed to read this week. Bye bye before-to-bed-reading-pages too. Waiting-for-my-class-book. And I can see the point. That's the worst. I need to de-clutter my life. I'm now in that process: decluttering the house, the office, the files, the computer, giving clothes away, and most importantly, decluttering my thoughts. I can see how so many words are stopping my own to become alive. So, yes, I understand the ban. But I AM NOT ENJOYING IT AT ALL. It makes me feel so isolated. It makes me face what I need to do with no space for procrastrination. I'm ready to do it, though. I am open to what this week can teach me. And I hope I find a sense of balance and perspective after all. However, right now, I AM STILL HATING IT.

Llueve, detrás de los cristales llueve y llueve...

Rain always remind me of this song, which translates to 'Ballad of the fall'. It's a beautiful song by a Catalan singer called Serrat who I admire. Even though now it is supposed to be summer, days like today (and yesterday) make me wonder... 'Come on!' I can hear my boyfriends' voice, 'how long have you been living in England!' Yes, he's right. But rain always does this to me. It's not too bad when I'm indoors. Just rain...

My Yoga Yourney

Following the yogic principle of saucha (purity) I have decided to try and simplify my life. Por this reason I have merged my two blogs Ones and My Yoga Journey . Yoga is not something separate from the rest of my life so my blogs shouldn't show this separation either.

The first time I ever went to a Yoga class was purely out of curiosity. I was very young and I only remember a dark class and a few impossibly difficult poses that I found rather pointless. Out of context, I didn't get it at all and I never came back. My next encounter with Yoga would be a few years later in a philosophy class. Expecting to hear about Plato and Aristotle, the lecturer surprised me with a module on Oriental Philosophy. Immediately I felt fascinated. Following the urge of knowing more about the subject, I travelled to India, where I lived for a while. I didn't practise any yoga there. My work in Parvathivai Leprosy Hospital completely absorved me and I was moving in a rather different dimension then. However, I learnt many aspects of the Indian culture in that hospital that would make entire sense later on in my yoga practice. Nobody recognised me when I got back. My family and friends were used to me as a chaotic, nervous, hyperactive person and I went back home exhaling peace. I learnt the meaning of purity (literal and metaphorical), meditation, self-knowledge and compassion. I lived with no worries. I learnt to let go of so many unnecessary things that used to clutter my life. Now, whenever I feel overwhelmed by life, I take my mind back to that state of mind. I can live free, I say to myself. I just need to decide to do it, believe it's possible and let go. I did it once. I can do it again. I will be eternally grateful to everyone I met in Mumbay, Goa and, especially, Surat, Barodha and Viara. I've never felt so welcome in my life and, like in a magical puzzle, all the pieces are now slowly falling into place. Namaste, sisters!

You can't separate the sun from the sunrise.

What does compassion mean to you?

I've just listened to a podcast on Compassion from Ken McLeod. His webside, Unfettered mind ( http://www.unfetteredmind.com/) is worth having a look.